CHURCH FOOTBALL
   
a.) Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. 

b.) Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

c.) Halftime - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose 
to leave.

d.) Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do
anything but sit.

e.) Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water
fountain) during the service.

f.)  Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be 
given to the Lord's work.

g.) Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost 
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

h.) Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last 
week's illustrations.

i.)  Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if 
the preacher goes "overtime".

j.)  Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

k.) End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or 
fellow member.

l.)  Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the 
sermon to affect your life.

m.) Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return 
for the evening service.

n.)  Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.